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30 BY 30!!! Let’s do this.

18 Jun

fireworksI’ve heard a number of great things about 29, and I just really think this year of life is going to be the best ever.  But I think the thing I’m looking forward to the most is accomplishing my 30 by 30 List.

What is a 30 by 30 List you ask?  It’s a list of 30 things you would like to accomplish before you turn 30.  For me, I am pooling from things I’ve always wanted to do, mistakes I’ve already made, mistakes I maybe should have made, and things that will just be plain INappropriate as a 30 year old (but at 29 you can still say “I’m in my 20s” without fear of judgement (hopefully))

That said, I would like to officially document and share with you my “30 by 30 List”

  1. Learn to drive a stick
  2. Pull an all-nighter (non-work related)
  3. Go to a concert of a favorite band from high school (aka – I’d really just love to see Yellowcard for the 32403384924th time)
  4. Get a kiss from a dolphin
  5. Listen to jazz music in the deep south
  6. Go streaking
  7. Get a professional headshot for LinkedIn
  8. Get rid of my college tshirts by way of making my very own tshirt quilt
  9. Learn all the lyrics to a classic rap song (suggestions?)
  10. Go to a psychic
  11. College drinking shenanigans
    1. Shotgun a beer
    2. Drink a beer from a beer bong
    3. Complete a power hour
    4. Drink a beer on the roof
  12. Go to ALL the doctors and get checked up (I loathe this one.. Grow. Up. Sarah.)
  13. Attend a Broadway show in New York
  14. Take a Richard Simmons cardio class taught by Richard Simmons himself
  15. Pet a tiger
  16. Register to vote
  17. Purchase and smoke weed
  18. Learn how to do my hair and makeup
  19. Visit a new state (Michigan and Wyoming, you’re on my list!)
  20. Float a river
  21. Read 12 books, including:
    1. The Bible (cover to cover)
    2. Trashy romance novel
    3. Shakespeare play
    4. Classic novel
    5. Anything by C.S. Lewis
    6. TAKING SUGGESTIONS!!
  22. Spend a weekend in Napa
  23. Go skinny dipping
  24. Go to the Bonus Round on WHEEL! OF! FORTUNE!
  25. Finish Gilmore Girls
  26. Ride an elephant
  27. Take a striptease lesson
  28. Start sending Christmas cards and never stop!
  29. Sleep on a futon
  30. Have a destination 30th birthday!!!  Details to come… 😉

This has been so fun – I have LOVED hearing suggestions and maybe you even found a few of yours in there 🙂  Let me know if you are able to make any of these happen, would like to participate in any of the adventures, or just want to hangout sometime 🙂

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Here are some honorable mentions that I realized I can wait until after 30… but that I would still like to do:

Buy a Kitchenaid mixer, eat something I grow myself, take a cooking class, take a couples dance class, sew a [non tshirt] quilt, take piano lessons, make sushi, go on a hot air balloon ride, buy a decent tv, get a job with a desktop computer, host a family holiday, buy a piece of furniture from Craiglist and make it my own, get certified to teach, attend a TED Talk, compile my favorite recipes into a cookbook, journal, see the Northen Lights, budget for monthly massages, buy a house/condo/apt/whatever, name my Top 10 favorite freckles, spend a month in Africa

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When Blind Women Need Oreos

7 Jan

My last post about the unibrow sugar fart got me thinking about other roommates that have been exposed to Daily Life With Sarah which then reminded me of the time I thought I was going to lose one of the best roommates this world has ever known.

Meet MalPal and J-Bootch:123kent

The three of us spent a year as roommates while I was living in Boston.  MalPal and I had already lived together for more than two years so she was used to the crazy that is Daily Life With Sarah.  J-Bootch on the other hand had no idea what he was getting himself into when he responded to an ad for an apartment on Craigslist with “Turbo Talk” and “Sporty Spice”  the summer of 2011.  Poor guy.

A few days after J-Bootch moved in, I subjected him to CO2 poisoning by nearly burning the house down as I attempted to microwave fishsticks for eight minutes. Fishsticks – 1, Sarah – 0.

yup, even the plate exploded.

yup, even the plate exploded.

A few days after that (less than a week after moving in), I had wrapped up dinner and drinks and hopped on the T to head home.  When I got off the T, something struck my foot.  My first thought was that some crazy kids were throwing things at me; my natural response was to turn around aggressively and show them my you-better-watch-out-or-I’ll-tell-your-mother face (it’s a good one).  Plan ruined when I turned around and there was a [not so] sweet blind woman in a motorized wheelchair who couldn’t even see how intimidating my face was.  She had accidentally hit me with her blind walking stick.  Because everyone has been hit by a blind woman in a motorized wheelchair, right?

I’m not sure how I feel about blind people driving in general, but political views aside I felt terrible for the thoughts that had been in my head .3 seconds after being struck on the foot.  I apologized to her and kindly and let her pass.

Don't you go dying on me!

Don’t you go dying on me!

As she got a few yards further, she did the same thing to a man that had been walking ahead of me…. struck his foot with her walking stick.  This man had the same natural reaction but instead, as he turned around he said “What the @$8%?!” This guy was ready to start a fight.  The woman said [in a none too friendly], bit of sarcastic tone “Excuse me.” As she forged ahead as continued yelling after her “You better watch where your $#@&*$%’ing  #*&$ is #&^$’ing going!!!”

Ok.  I get it.  No one wants to be struck on the foot, but seriously???  Can we just chill out??  Her sarcastic response was priceless:  I’M BLIND. 5304039-woman-in-sunglasses-portrait-strong-side-light

At this point she had already driven out ear shot to use a normal tone so he continued to make his thoughts known to her by YELLING a string of more obscenities.  Wooooooow.

I was furious.  I was ready to act.  I was coming up with every response in the book to stand up for this blind woman…. but then I realized that responding to his obscenities with a few of my own was no way to stand up for her.  Then I thought that responding at all was not wise considering my stature compared to this over-sized, enraged, behemoth of a man (mild exaggeration).

Ugh.  I had to do something.

He was walking at a slower than I was, so I passed him and ended up getting about a block ahead of him by the time I was home…. That’s when I had a GENIUS idea.idea

I ran up the stairs to my second floor apartment as fast as I could and burst thru the door.  J-Bootch had been enjoying a low key evening until I  ran up to him panting “DON’T ASK QUESTIONS!  WE NEED SOMETHING TO THROW!!! QUICK!!! SOMETHING NOW!!!!”

He started running through the apartment looking for things to throw.  He held up an apple… (love him) “No no no no… We’ll get in trouble for that.  OREOS!!!!! GET THE OREOS!!!!!!”

We ran and grabbed the Oreos from the pantry.oreos

At this point I had still not had a second to explain what we were doing, but I shooshed my hand over my mouth and signaled to J-Bootch that we needed to go on our balcony.  He followed close behind with Oreos in hand.

The timing could not have been more perfect… the jerk behemoth man that had cursed out the motorized blind woman had just walked passed our house and was within Oreo shot!  I whispered to J-Bootch… “We have to throw Oreos at that guy until we hit him!”  Bootch took aim and started throwing.  He nailed him in the back of the leg!!!!!!! YYYYYYYEEEESSSS!!!!! (love him x1,000,000).  We snuck back inside before the guy knew what (or who) had hit him.

I then took time to explain the situation and I’m not sure if J-Bootch agreed Oreos was the correct method of punishment…. but he could not have been a better sport.  Kind of like the time he woke up, I was no where to be found and…. well…

story for another day

story for another day

I’d like to think if I didn’t move to San Diego that J-Bootch and I would still be roommates…. so for now let’s just go ahead and say that’s the reason why we don’t still live together 😉

In the meantime, please let me know if you’d like me to join the neighborhood watch force in your neighborhood.  Oreos will be in abundance.

Serious inquires only, please.neighborhood watch

10 People You Are Guaranteed to See at Starbucks

30 Jul

Now that I have a few years of experience as a working professional, I am proud to say that not only have I perfected a complicated Starbucks order (Grande-Soy-No-Water-Chai Latte), but I have also been able to narrow down the profiles of the people that you are guaranteed to see at Starbucks regardless of the day, the time, the city.. anything!  This may not mean anything to you… but having spent an unruly amount of time in various Starbucks’ (Starbuck’s? Starbuckses?  Starbucksi? Whatever, you get it) over the past month while ‘working remotely’ …you have no idea how true this is.  Welcome to my life for the past month.

1: Old retired guy reading a newspaper – Typically you will find him sitting at the cozy seat closest to the door seeking out any opportunity for conversation.  He is a regular and the employees will know him by name and awful ‘dad jokes’… the jokes and one liners may not be funny, but people laugh to be polite.  As a general rule I avoid these men because they loooove to talk to me, but yesterday he was sitting next to the power outlet where my laptop was plugged in.  Rather than try and crawl over him in my sundress, I said “Excuse me, would you mind unplugging me from the outlet?”  His response?  “I don’t think I can unplug you but I can unplug your computer”  hyuck hyuck hyuck hyuck 

2: Gossip girls– They only come in pairs and use Starbucks as their meeting spot to catch up on all the latest drama in their friend group.  I can assure you that they’re sipping on the most complicated latte orders which also happen to a good representation of their lives – self-imposed complications.

3: Hot Moms in Workout Clothes – no explanation necessary.

For the hot mom’s that can’t make it out to Starbucks… 4: Young, Hot Nannies – they typically receive the brunt of the old retired guy reading a newspaper’s attention.  Sorry nannies, but maybe you should just stop being so hot and nurturing!

5: The kid that ruins the food display – Just yesterday I witnessed a kid stick his hand in the refrigerated display case and graze through it as if it was his own personal sandbox; he knocked over every drink and Bistro Box in the place.  A few weeks ago I witnessed a toddler pick up an apple juice container, shove the entire top in his mouth, slobber ALL over the rest of it and then put it back in the display.  Thanks, kids.

6: The [ONE] Overly Enthusiastic Employee – you know the one I’m talking about…  They use a higher pitched voice when they talk to you and maintain an all-teeth smile the entire time.  Everything you say is funny to them and they want to ensure that if you’re not a morning person, you will be by the time they’re through with you.  You either love them or you hate them – there is no middle ground here. 

7: Meet and Greets – Whether it be a job interview or an eHarmony match, or both… (?) Starbucks is the safest place for this first meet to happen.  Informal, but business-like.  Cheaper than dinner, but not a total dive.  An opportunity for long conversation, or an opportunity to ‘have to go’ early… the possibilities are endless.  Thank you Starbucks for your welcoming and consistent environment.  I’ve developed a knack for spotting the online daters btw… hilarious.

8: Worker Bees – whether it be students, bloggers, or work-from-homers…. they’ll sit there aaaalllllll day for the free wi-fi.  The intensely focused lap typers are my favorite because they act like they’re doing something super important and then you see their screen and realize they’re on Facebook.  Figures.

9: Bluetoother – does not stop talking on their Bluetooth from the moment they walk in, through the line, they may or may not pause the phone conversation for a rushed order, more Bluetooth while they wait for their drink to be made, add that creamer (good thing they’re hands-free!) aaaaaaaaaand we’re out.

10: Crazy Bum – Depending on where you are, you might have to wait this one out but I guarantee at least one will walk through the doors during the day.  It’s happened at every Starbucks I’ve worked from for the past month, no lie.  The most ridiculous Crazy Bum I have seen was a few weeks ago.  He came in around 6a and sat two tables down from me with a large leather padfolio and an order of hot tea (doesn’t he know that he has to come up with more complicated order? Rookie).  When he unzipped the padfolio, he had a number of catalogues/magazines stacked in there.  He started flipping through these catalogues talking to himself… weird, but manageable.  Then he started laughing… louder and louder.  Next thing I knew he was dancing.  I was already enjoying the entertainment but THEN he started ripping perfume samples out of his magazines and rubbing them under his armpits.  Too far, friend… too far.  He left at 8:30a.

There you have it!  Who did I miss???  On an unrelated note… I’m REEEEALLY ready to get back in the office and work normal hours again.

The Month That Was

30 Apr

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this about my blog, but my posts are generally one-off goofy Sarah stories rather than a detailed diary of my day-to-day life… this is for two reasons:  1. I like to keep my personal life well… personal.  2.  I don’t want to turn in to one of those bloggers that details what I had for breakfast because let’s be real… you don’t need to know that I eat cold Dominos pizza for breakfast at least once a week.  What?  You’re not supposed to do that after college?

That said, the month of April 2012 (hereon referred to as ‘The Month That Was’) has been incredible and I woud like to detail it for you…  consider this me getting personal.  I promise I won’t do this often.

To kick off the greatness, Brittany introduced me to this gem at YouTube night.  I’m still laughing.  Thanks Brittany!!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcuI6K9daIw

I spent a weekend in Shirley, MA with UltiMegan.  Got the tour of Circle B Barns.  Rode Horses.  Drove a semi truck.  Went jeeping.  Shot guns.  Hung out with Megan’s awesome family.  Had a bonfire.  Flagged down a train to pick me up and take me back to Boston.  I love Shirley, MA.

Had an excellent brunch on Easter Sunday hosted by the one and only Paul-Mark-Tim trio.  Great food and even better company (if that’s possible with how incredible that ham was!!! And the homemade mac and cheese.  MMMMMM.  still thinking about it)

I received an email telling me I got Opening Day tickets to Fenway for the 100th anniversay!!!!!!! I hope this isn’t sacriligeous, but I prayed for tickets and the Lord heard my prayer.  I’m not joking – how else do I explain tickets?!  It was SO MUCH FUN!!!!

  

I saw this photo while reading the news on my morning commute.  It made me laugh.  Aloud.

I got to check Speed Dating off my bucket-list.

Went to a play at the Middle East – I didn’t know they had plays there! It was a ton of fun.

Was introduced to Caine’s Arcade – if this doesn’t touch your heart… it’s likely you don’t have one.  http://vimeo.com/40000072

Window washing day at the office!!! I wrote my favorite washers a note that said “Looking good guys – thanks for cleaning our windows!!”  They didn’t see it.. instead, they just stared at me wondering why I was taking their picture (for the 329403242nd time in the past two years…) but seriously.  HOW COOL IS THAT

Mitch hosted one of his first BBQs of the season.  If you haven’t been to a Mitch BBQ, add it to your ladel list… and if Mitch + BBQ didn’t convince you… check out this picture and try telling me you don’t want to go!

When I ate breakfast at one of my favorite diners near my apartment, my favorite waitress FINALLY recognized me.  I’ve only gone there just about every weekend for almost two years now.  It was a great day.

I read/journaled on my favorite spot on the Esplanade.  I watched a crew team load up, row out, come back and go home.  Something about that just makes my heart smile.

Had a picnic on the waterfront int the Nort End.  The idea was to play bocce ball and picnic, but alas… we did not have bocce balls.  We ended up finding a spot in view of Bunker Hill, the Zakim Bridge and the USS Constitution AT GOLDEN TIME.  It was a completely perfect evening.  I love Boston.

Megan and I laid in bed one night watching Grey’s on my laptop.  It felt like college.  I love us.

I got a late night text on Patriots Day Eve to go to the Sox game ON Patriots Day.  Some people really know the way to this girl’s heart 🙂   I took my twin with me… we seriously have so much fun that I bet we’re illegal in at least 86 countries. 

You know you’ve found a friend for life when she will post this picture of you on Facebook and you’re not even mad:

My iPhone finally stopped autocorrecting “baller” to “ballet”  — you have no idea how long I have been waiting for this moment.

Took a 4:45a adventure to Battle of Lexington and Concord reenactment on the Lexington Green (where it actually took place).  IT WAS AWESOME!!!

We found this kid at the reenactment.  He is the background on my phone.  Because I love him.

I was introduced to a new (awesome) breakfast spotin the North End – the pancakes are HUUUUUGE!

MARATHON MONDAY – Patriots Day in Boston is truly the greatest thing on this planet.  (Mind you this was the same day as the Sox game…  the marathon goes right next to the stadium so when we walked out we were already part of the crowd!)

I got a $100 giftcard from one of my partners at work and I’m treating myself to these new running shoes (they make me smile and dance):

I get to play volleyball every Wednesday with my BSSC team – I love volleyball.  I love my team… even when Jose is grouchy 😉 (Jose, do you read this??)

Flowers are EVERYWHERE!  YAY SPRING!

Dodgeball.  When was the last time you played??? I definitely need more of it in my life.

Bustins Island adventure – I am forever changed.

Another random morning commute article that made me laugh… I was thinking Mr. Rogers meets Ron Burgundy meets Robin Scherbatsky: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/26/fashion/pat-kiernan-of-ny1-sets-his-sights-on-live-with-kelly.html?_r=1

Took an extended weekend vacay in Chicago with SAM AND JAKE!   If you don’t know Sam and Jake, the three of us have been best friends since 8th grade and they’re the greatest guys ever.  We watched blues bands. Saw the Family Matters house.  Locked Jake Jake locked himself in his own bathroom overnight.  Best weekend ever.  Here’s a little photo diary of us from 2004 – present.  Pretty cute, right?!? 

              

So I’ve got to ask… DOES LIFE GET BETTER?!?!?!  April 2012 is going down in history as ‘The Month That Was’ – a special thanks to everyone that made it possible 🙂

I Found Love on Bustins Island – The Adventures of Sarah & Vinny

23 Apr

I got an invite (read: I convinced UltiMegan and her friends to let me tag along) for a weekend in Bustins Island, Maine.   In true Sarah-form I heard ‘island’ and came totally prepared: a couple of swimsuits, a couple of tank tops, a pair of shorts, flipflops, and a t-shirt or two.  I’m an idiot… although an island, an island off the coast of Maine is not warm in April.  Lesson learned.  (A special thanks to Megan, James, Byler, and James’ grandmother’s closet for outfitting me appropriately for the weekend).

After a pit stop at Bob’s Clam Hut, we made it to Freeport around 10p and loaded up the good ol’ Buttbreaker with our gear… well… their gear, my swimsuits.  We ventured into the icy waters of the Atlantic, battled the waves through the screaming eel infested waters and made it to the island guided by the light of the stars.  It was better than a dream.  I love Maine.

Bustins Island is three miles off the coast and has one little gravel ‘road’ that loops around the island.  I use the term ‘road’ loosely because there are rarely any motorized vehicles there; in fact, if there were more than one it’d likely cause a huge traffic jam.  There were 11 people on the island that weekend, and we were eight of them… if that gives you any idea how remote this is. The island has about a hundred houses on it, most of which are over a hundred years old.  There is a GINORMOUS rope swing, a post office, a troll bridge, a haunted house, a house built on rocks, houses with outhouses, lots of lobster traps, and a Bustin Jieber cemetery.  Traipsing through the island has made me want to become a professional explorer. 

I’ll upload a picture gallery later so you can look at how cool the island is, because I’m going to devote the rest of this post to Vinny.

By law, any weekend getaway in Maine must involve a lobster dinner.  Saturday evening we went to the market and got eight LIVE lobsters.  Once we got back on the boat with them, I of course had to peek in the bag and pick out my favorite.  You know how they say you find love when you’re not looking for it?  Well I found love this weekend.  I wasn’t looking for it.

Meet Vinny.  If you can’t tell by our faces, it was love at first sight.

I took him back to the house and we hung out on the porch for a bit.  He loved the blue chairs! 

    

We worked on a crossword puzzle together

He introduced me to his friends – they were HILARIOUS

Had a couple beers (don’t worry I checked his ID and this was totally legal)

         

As all best friends are required to do in this era, we took a ton goofy pictures together

    

 I gave him a ride in the wheelbarrel cart!  

He had such a blast he wanted to give ME a ride in the cart too!

I taught him how to ride a bike

                   

Great job, Vinny!

We drove the boat

Hung out in nature

But alas, the inevitable:  time to boil the seawater/seaweed mix for cooking.  I knew this was going to be real tough on me, but Vinny being so noble and sacrificial started the propane tank so I didn’t have to.

He said he needed some alone time.  I found him sitting silently, staring into the ocean.

I got a little emotional so I grabbed him for one last romantic view of sunset… the sunset of our love.

Here is our final goodbye – he was so brave.

R.I.P. Vinny – Your love and sacrifice will be remembered forever.

On a few unrelated notes – I have no idea why I’m not invited on weekend getaways more often.  I have no idea why I’m single.  Maine lobsters are the best lobsters.  James is an amazing cook and an excellent host.  Bustins Island is AWESOME.  Life is gooooooooooooood.

The Boston Marathon: A Race to Heaven!

19 Apr

In my last post I told you about how I got to check speed dating off my bucket list.  WAHOO.  I’ll tell you what’s not on my bucket list – running a marathon.  Unlike every other 25 year old something out there… I have literally never had this desire.  Oh well.  I do however love supporting people that run marathons and have (on more than one occasion  stood at various mile markers at various marathons that my friends have run with bottles of orange Gatorade, energy packs and Milky Way bars to pass on to them during their race.  Marathons are fun!

As most of the world is aware, the marathon of ALL marathons was this week – THE BOSTON MARATHON!!!! (In case the all caps and string of exclamation points didn’t give it away… I looooooooove the Boston Marathon!)  This was my fourth year experiencing the race first hand and every year I cry at least one point watching the runners go by.  Ok, I know I can get emotional about goofy things (4th of July, Battle of Lexington and Concord reenactment, Marley and Me, the homeless kid on Korea’s Got Talent, etc.) but I feel like this one is legitimate!  Watching people struggle in pursuit of fulfilling a life goal?  Seeing the dedication on their faces to finish something that has taken months (if not years) of  intense training?  Don’t even get me started on the military men and women that do it in all their gear… U.S.A!! U.S.A!!  I think the real reason I get emotional about this marathon in particular is because I feel like I get to witness a little piece of Heaven here on earth 🙂

Hebrews  12:1-3 says:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Watching the runners of the Boston Marathon provides us with such a great representation of our various walks (or runs) of faith – I’ve seen runners wearing tutu’s and gorilla costumes bouncing down Beacon Street at mile 23 like it’s nothing!  I’ve seen runners go by waving their arms up and down to rally the crowd for even louder cheers.  I’ve seen runners struggle to lift their feet another step.  I’ve seen the man who pushes his son in the wheelchair.  I’ve seen runners set world records.  I’ve seen injuries.  Really bad injuries.  I’ve seen people desperate for water.  And all I can do is cheer them on.

In the race we call life (cue soap opera narrative voice here), I can identify various points in my faith where I was rallying the crowd, or using all my strength to help someone else towards the finish line, or struggled to take just one more step, or desperate for water, or even waddling around in a tutu with a big smile on my face.

What really sets the Boston Marathon apart for me is the masses that come to cheer on the runners.  The entire city shuts down to show its support and there is not a single spot on either side of the 26.2 miles that is left empty; everyone in the city of Boston (and then some!) are out supporting the 22 THOUSAND + runners and it’s just one huge party!

When I think of the Kingdom of Heaven, I see the streets of Boston lined with thousands upon thousands of spectators and think of the cloud of witnesses that the author of Hebrew mentions.   All the angels in Heaven and those that have gone on before us line the entire path of our faith journey, cheering us on every step of the way as we run our race; they want nothing more than for us to cross the finish line and join them in the cheering squad, worshiping the Creator.  I think about the times when we grow weary and lose heart, and somehow we make it through to the next day (and the next and the next).  I think about  how we look forward in hope of the eternal joy that cannot be taken away from us.  But most of all, I think of never having to be separated from God, all thanks to The One who has run before us.

To the runners of the Boston Marathon – you are incredible.  If you’d like to put in a request for an orange Gatorade or a Milky Way, let me know and I will be there for ya next year!

To the rest of yous guys – be encouraged that all of Heaven is lining the full 26.2 miles of our lives cheering and anxiously waiting for us to finish our race.  We are pressing on towards the goal of eternal life.  Now let’s get some more runners, shall we?!

(That was figurative.  Still no desire to run a marathon 😉 just FYI)

I Went Speed Dating – This is Who I Met

11 Apr

To preface: there was a deal on Living Social, it’s on my bucket-list, I’m 25, and why not!?  The stars aligned, so Catie and I went.

I fully planned on developing some fake accent, or a nervous tic, or a horrible laugh, or a Disney princess persona… but all my hypothetical lives don’t hold a candle to the people I met.

Here are their profiles:

**All images have been borrowed from a Google image search.  Please don’t harass me about copyright blah blah blah – this is me giving credit to them**

Pang – A self-employed Cambodian chiropractor who grew up near Boston.  Like most chiropractors do before going into practice, he was a door-to-door meat salesman.  And I quote, “Yeah, I would knock on doors and say ‘Hey!  You want summa my meat??’ heh heh heh” Sadly I don’t think his life has changed much.  As he said this to me, he maintained a huge all-teeth-grin-face and speed pumped his eyebrows up and down repeatedly.

Steve – The only guy there wearing a suit and tie.  He walked around with a martini in one hand and his cell phone in the other.  He is an attorney that works on bankruptcy cases, but does not work with people because he doesn’t like people.  He hates his life, and he prefers to work than to have hobbies.  His words, not mine.  I honestly have no idea why this guy is single.

Nicoli – oohhhhh Nick.  Somehow think he missed that there was and age cut-off, but he’s Ukrainian and who doesn’t love a fun Ukrainian?!  (Olya – if you read this: I MISS YOU!!!!)  He was great, but definitely wanted to be back at Catie’s table, proven by the fact I think he was staring at her the entire time.  And then cornered her afterwards to get her number.  Get it garl 😉

Scott – another one that missed the age cut-off by a few years.  He decided to use his date time with Catie to go to the bathroom…. and well… that’s really all that I can remember because that’s kind of hilarious.

Sergei – An engineer originally from Russia seeking to pursue a career in photography and take pictures of “beautiful smiling women,” like me (or so he said).  “I want to get in your pants” was written all over his face.  And pants.

Paul – pretty much your typical New England dog walker from Randolph with a broken ankle and lots of food allergies.

Sid – looked like your stereotypical Harvard kid – dark skin, khakis, button down shirt with the top two buttons undone and a blue blazer.  He had swoopy loverboy hair and got his undergrad degree from Columbia, worked a couple of years in venture capital and wait for it…. is now at Harvard Business School (I need to get paid for this).  He was quote: “drawn” to me, by my drink of choice… which the bartender happened to throw in my hands and I did not in fact choose for myself.  P.s. how did he know what I ordered?  Creeper.

Lucas – Poor guy was soooooooooo nervous.  His plan to use the preset conversation starter cards as a crutch for his nerves quickly backfired when he reached for one and soon realized unlike the cards on the other tables… mine happened to all be extremely inappropriate.  I’m pretty sure neither one of us even knew what the questions even meant, much less wanted to know what an answer to the questions could be.  Lucky for him, I can think of about 3285474320 things to talk about off the top of my head, so I made sure to encourage him to keep talking.  Nice guy.

Ricardo – definitely the easiest guy of the bunch to talk to.  He sat down and said “You have this coooooooool vibe going on. What is it?  You must be from the west coast.”  Why yes, yes I am.  Made me happy.

Nus (pronounced Noose) which is a good way to explain it because he made me want to hang myself.  The first thing he said to me was… “I’m feelin’ your vibe, but do your earrings match your necklace??” I think it was supposed to be a callout?  I spent the entire ‘date’ trying to decipher his slang and not be distracted by his Shooter McGavin pointing.  As I was leaving he said “Hey – so you think you made it in my Top 5??”  I guess I will never know.

Sean (looked a lot like someone I know who is actually named Sean! Sorry Sean for stealing one of your profile pics…) – Speed Dating Sean was pretty normal, but he kept wiping his nose.  I’ve been sick and Catie told me I shouldn’t wipe my nose because everyone is going to think I’m a drug user.  Naturally.  I was so self-conscious and refused to wipe my nose the entire night that when this guy did it every 3.7 seconds I was 1. a little jealous and 2. thinking he was a drug user.  Thanks Catie.

Omar.  The best for last, for real.  He was my fave.  As he walked up to my table the first words out of his mouth were “I cry a lot.”  I think he was the only guy there that was actually joking around and creating hypothetical life.  In fact I’m pretty sure our entire conversation was made up.. and it was hilarious.  For some reason though, I totally believe that his dad’s arm was amputated due to an injury from working in a sheet metal factory, which inspired him to become a biotech engineer for prosthetic limbs.  Hmmmm.

After all was said and done I turned in a blank “match card,” which let’s be real – is anyone surprised??  The woman followed Catie and I out the door – I forgot what she had to ask Catie, but she was shocked when she asked if I meant to turn in a blank card and I said yes.  Has that not ever happened before??  Definitely a good time.  Definitely exhausting.  And we were deeeeefinitely excited to meet up with our actual friends at a bar afterwards and recap our speed dating experience 🙂

Chalk it up to another notch of my bucket-list belt!  Next one: Opening Day at Fenway – happening Friday… WHADDUP