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The Terrible Plane Passenger

22 Feb

I hope this doesn’t come off as rude or offensive, but it’s my blog and I can be honest here and say that there are just some people in this world that I would rather not sit next to on a plane.  Does this make me a bad person?  No.  Does this make me think anything less of those people?  Absolutely not! after all I’ve been that person (story to follow)…. but given the option I can guarantee that you’re not going to be the one to volunteer to take the middle seat inbetween the sweet precious tantrum baby and the [I’m sure, very] friendly man with the absolutely horrendous BO.  Amiright?!

That being said, I’ve taken the liberty of creating….

The World’s Best Worst Airplane Seating Chart:

plane seating chart

Isn’t this what it always feels like every time you fly!?

*Honorable mentions go to The Mean Parent, Over-Sized Dreads Guy, The Won’t Pull Down The Shade When The Sun Is Beaming In Your Face Kid, Everyone’s BFF (not to be confused with the Jokester or Oversharer), The Flight Attendant Brown Noser and last but not least… The Cougher.
**My personal favorite is The Panicked Flier… I once sat next to a woman that insisted that I walk up and down the aisle with her before take-off to physically touch/count every aisle seat on the way to the emergency exit in case it was too smokey to see when the plane went down.  She also wore nylon socks because the material is less flammable than cotton….?  Because when the plane goes up in flames heaven forbid my socks catch on fire.  I wish I could make this stuff up, but alas.. true story.

I got to go to back to Abilene for Sing Song and an unofficial friend reunion of sorts this past weekend… it was my first time going to Sing Song since since I was in it FIVE YEARS AGO.  I’ve learned there are two things in this world that make you feel old: 1 – 5 year reunions of any variety and 2 – your hands being sore from playing skee ball (yes, I experienced both this weekend).

It was seriously sooooo great to catch up with old friends, professors, go to Friday praise chapel on campus (tears!), hangout with the fam, hangout with Granny and friends at her ‘retirement village’ … all in all awesome.  So awesome in fact that I got a total of six hours sleep between Thursday night and Friday night, and 45 minutes of sleep Saturday… My flight was out of Dallas at 830a Sunday morning so my friend and I woke up at 5a to drive to DFW so I could catch my flight.  Have I mentioned that girl is a saint?

We struuuuuuuuggled to stay awake on our three hour drive but any attempt at remaining coherent was completely useless.  She stayed awake by driving 95 MPH (God bless Texas highways) with her hand out the sunroof and/or grabbing ice from her Whataburger cup to rub on her face.  I don’t know how I stayed awake because I pretty much just stared straight ahead and tried to keep up conversation as we watched the sunrise.

you try staying awake driving through three hours of THIS!

you try staying awake driving through three hours of THIS!

In the last hour of the ride delirium started kicking in and I somehow convinced myself that I had forgotten to purchase my return flight.  I spent the next 40 minutes on the phone with various airlines asking if they had a reservation for me, only to realize that I was flying on the same airline as I flew in on because I had in fact bought a round trip ticket… (shocking, I know).  I also discovered while waiting in the security line at the airport that I had lost my phone… only to realize a full 24 hours later that I had put in my wallet (where I always keep it); nevermind the fact that I opened my wallet to get my ID out, put my ID away, get my debit card out and put my debit card away in that 24-hour time frame. That’s four accounts of quite literally touching my phone and having no idea where I had left it.  I made it through security and went to my gate… well, the wrong gate.  After standing in line to board a flight to Philadelphia for 12 minutes I realized I was at gate 38 and my ticket said gate 28.  2’s and 3’s look pretty similar….  (just go with it).

After that crazy fiasco of a morning, I somehow managed to make it on the correct plane and sat down in the correct seat.  Let’s call this a win.  Little did the guy next to me know what was in store for him.

I made absolutely no attempt to be friendly and I think the frazzled hair, 24-hour old makeup and disheveled yoga pants + hoodie fashion statement was enough to keep me from finding my new best friend for the next three hours.  Needless to say, I was left alone and passed out as soon as I heard the flight attendant say “San Diego.”  Aaaaaaaaand we’re off!

I have no idea how far along into the flight we were or how long I had been asleep… but I was startled awake by the man sitting next to me.  Why you ask?  Oh only because


I like to think I looked something like this....

I like to think I looked something like this….

this is probably a little more realistic...

this is probably a little more realistic…


I kid you not, my head was turned all the way to my left facing upwards, mouth gaping open, breathing and SNORING less than four inches from this poor man’s face.  It had to have been even worse than what I’m envisioning because when I opened my eyes the two people sitting behind me were quite literally standing up out of their seats to try and catch a glimpse of the obnoxious, rude, horrendously disgusting person (aka: me) that was the talk of the entire plane.

I was so confused when he woke me up I just ended up flinging my hands out in front of me to catch my balance [in the extremely stationary plane seat], tried for .3 seconds to figure out where I was but quickly turned my head to the other side and fell right back asleep.  How rude of that guy to wake me up! (kidding)

When we the plane touched down I was jolted awake and wiped the drool from the sides of my mouth.  I casually looked at the man next to me and judging by the fact that he moved his mouth, chuckled and pumped his eyebrows up and down I can only assume he said something to me… I didn’t understand him or attempt an effort to respond.  I looked at him confused and propped my head back on the seat waiting to deboard.  Man, I bet HE felt awkward!  Idiot.  (kidding)

I got home, crawled in bed and fell asleep by 11a.  I woke up Monday morning at 6a to head to work and was quite the peach that day, let me tell ya 😉

I guess when most people fly, they walk of the plane with a story about some crazy person they had to sit next to.  Well in this case, I am that crazy person and I have to tell the story on myself :/ I do however take great comfort in the fact that I provided that man (and a plane) with a story to tell to their friends and families that picked them up from the airport.  You’re welcome, World.


No PreDate Text Should Include the Word ‘Crockpot’

8 Aug

The biggest mistake I’ve ever made is not making this blog anonymous.

That said, I wish I had more freedom to post about dating aspect of my life because it is hiiiiiiiiiighly entertaining and I’m pretty sure the readership would allow me to quit my day job and blog forever.   Plus you readers seem to enjoy it!  Out of respect for all parties involved, I’m a 9-5er (ahem 8-6er) and sit in a cube staring at Excel sheets all day.  

I would however like to highlight some of my more memorable/hilarious/horrendous/wtf dating moments and contribute to the ‘Sh*t [insert group of people here] Say‘ movement on YouTube.  Here’s to hoping that those guys either a) don’t read my blog, and/or b) don’t realize I’m talking about them!  But really… it’s just too ridiculous not to share.

Here we go:

“I’ll let you get this one…” said to me by a guy that had [at one point] piqued my interest as he passive aggressively had me buy tickets to a show that he told me he already purchased tickets for.  I have no problem pitching in and will always (always, always) offer but he didn’t even let me get that far!  Needless to say, that was the only “one.”  Next.

“If you’re looking to ease back into dating… I’m a really easy guy to date” said to me a couple weeks after my breakup of the century.  I wonder how long he sat around thinking of that line, or how many times he’s used it before.  Nevermind, I don’t want to know.

“Yeah – I’ll miss you too.  But I’m kind of more one of those ‘out of sight, out of mind’ people.  So I mean…  I’ll be really excited when you come visit, but other than that it’ll probably not be a huge deal.”  We never went out, but really boys??  I can take a hint but you could have at least lied a little!

“I want to tell you that I like you, but I don’t want to be another Sarah Iverson Statistic”  —  Can someone tell me what that means exactly??

I was out with a group of people very recently and here is a conversation with a guy I had met earlier that night:

Him: Hey!  So I know your ex.  (Of course you do.  Mind you I had never met this guy, I’m in a new city, far away from anyone that would have even known I had an ex.. much less who he was.)

Me: Oh really?  That’s great ((fake smile))

Him: Yeah… he’s a really great guy

Me:  Yup – he is

Him: I’m really sorry about everything that happened. (It’s been over a year)  He really is such a good guy.

—————————- silence —————————————

Him: So would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow?

Me: No thank you.

“I know this is weird, but it feels kind of good to see you hurting — I feel like you are kind of getting a glimpse of what I’ve been going through” — says the guy that apparently had a crush on me for a long time and it was never reciprocated.  This might be why it didn’t work out between us…

“Sweeeeet Caroline!!!!!  I had to do a Google search to see who sang that!” — text from a guy before we went to a Sox game.  He is obviously not the one for me.  Extremely unfortunate, really.

There was a guy that chased me around for a couple months and we eventually went on a date.  Tables turned.. I became interested and he wasn’t.  Not going to lie, I was pretty bummed UNTIL a couple months later a group of us were answering the question “What are the 5 things you are most thankful for?”  #3 for him: “I’m really thankful for my genes.  ((silence)) You know, like genetics…” – Extremely great guy but he has not crossed my mind since.

“OH!  I’ve never seen Dumb and Dumber!” — One of the very few guys I’ve ever asked out, and he is quite possibly the most awesome guy EVER … but youch… that one cut deep.

“So I have a great idea for our first date!  And I hope this isn’t weird, but you’d meet my parents” ……………….. I was busy that evening :/ Still a very very good friend of mine 🙂

Let’s be real though… dating stories go both ways.   Some of the more epic failures on my part:

“Hey it’s pretty cold out here, I’ll be in Bed Bath and Beyond looking at Crockpots”  The guy was running late and THAT was my text to him.  Let the records show that no predate text should include the word ‘Crockpot’ … or Bed Bath and Beyond for that matter.  Lesson learned.

–I was on a first date with an awesome guy and started talking about being left on the side of the road on the day I thought I was being proposed to.  Then I got teary eyed.  Nothing says ‘let’s do this again sometime!’ better than bringing up your ex.  Probably shouldn’t have been going out on dates at that point…. Awwwwwwwwwwwwkward!

–I tried to use a computer issue I had to flirt via email with the hottest guy I’ve ever known in real life.  I ended my email with ‘It’ll be a Dalmatian Plantation!’ … Because what guy doesn’t love a damsel in distress that can quote 101 Dalmatians?!  (For the record, it was totally relevant and funny because it rhymed with the computer error message that kept popping up on my screen)

“I just have a lot of baggage right now that you shouldn’t have to deal with… I’d rather you be my copilot than my skycap.”   Yup.  That was my college self.  Totally killed the mood because I couldn’t stop laughing after that, but also proud of how quickly I was able to think on my feet!!  He married the next girl he dated and we are both better off 🙂

Now that I’m living in a new city I’m hoping I can (lovingly) publicize more of these incredibly awkward moments while still maintaining interest from at least SOME guys!  It’s a fine line, really.  In the meantime, my brother did some pretty funny posts about his worst dates… you should check them out!

The Single Life: Worst Date Countdown #3

The Single Life: Worst Date Countdown #2

The Single Life: Worst Date Countdown #1

Anyone care to share horrible dating stories?  You can’t say it’s because you don’t want them to see it… I promise they don’t read my blog.  LET’S HEAR SOME!

An Opportunity to Date Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelor!!

26 Jun

This weekend Colin hosted the ‘7th Annual Rhode Island Getaway’ at his family’s beach house near Narragansett.  Last year was my first year attending and it was awesome – Colin is a great and generous host and everyone always has a good time 🙂  Here’s a great pic from the weekend:

Beach Day at the 7th Annual Rhode Island Getaway

I didn’t think I was going to be able to go on the trip this year until I found out that my buddy, who we loving call ‘Wolfie’, was planning on leaving the city at 9p Friday night – I didn’t get out of work until 7:30p so this was perfect!  He invited me to tag along on his 8p dinner reservations in the North End prefacing that it’d be him and four guys, of which I’m friends with two of them.  Why not?  I could use a nice glass of Italian red wine, homemade pasta, and a few laughs to wind down after a crazy work week.  I walked into the restaurant at 8p on the dot and was more than surprised to see a table of 15 GUYS.  The dinner Wolfie invited me to was in fact a guys’ night out for the birthday of a guy I had never met and even better… Wolfie was nowhere to be found.  Great.

My first instinct was to run out of the restaurant, text Wolfie, say I got caught up at work and just meet him at 9p… but someone had already spotted me.  Something about wearing a baby blue mini skirt and a loud floral print shirt made it a little difficult to blend in?  Hmmm. weird.  I told myself  ‘play it cool, Sarah.  Just. Be. Cool.’ and casually walked up to the 15 person man table.  I approached the only two people I knew at the table and simultaneously tapped both of them on the shoulder.  They turned around and their speechless shock quickly turned into laughter after about .41 seconds followed by a “Whhhhhat are you doing here?!?!”  I did what any normal person would do and slowly backed myself into a corner.  Quite literally.

After being offered the open chair in the smack dab middle of the table, I made the executive decision to politely decline the invitation and grab dinner and a glass of wine on my own.  As I left, I quickly accepted the fact that this was going to put us a little behind our 9p ETD to the Rhode Island Getaway.  I honestly didn’t mind too much – I love, appreciate and respect guy time probably more than they do so I found a somewhat empty pizza place and sat myself down at the bar and ordered my first drink.

All was fine and well until 3 HOURS (and 4 beers) later when I received a text from Wolfie: “Change of plans.  You are coming with me to the bachelor show tryouts tmrw, then we go to rhode island.  Deal?” 

No deal.

Lord have mercy on his sweet baby face when he showed up to my bar at 11p to plead his case.  The plea included a newspaper clipping for evidence, shaking his clasped hands in front of my folded arms for dramatic effect, the phrase “eeeeeeveryone says I should do it” for teenage soap opera effect, there may or may not have been a single tear… I guess you could say he pretty much did everything short of getting down on his hands and knees and begging.  Stone Cold Sarah (with the help of my new BFF bartender) ruled against all his pleas.  Verdict: Rhode Island Getaway.  Stat. 

When we made it to the car, he shifted his strategy from logistics to emotions and pursued an alternative verdict by telling me I was causing him to “miss his only opportunity to find true love.” I could not even formulate words to create a response, so I punched him.  Repeatedly.  Because that’s how I solve my problems.

For fear of his life, he made his best effort to change the subject and I made my best effort to let it go.  The remaining hour or so in the car was pretty normal and we just talked about fun, normal things.  We ended up getting to Colin’s house around 1a and had a super fun night 🙂

The next morning we were all sitting around eating breakfast and Wolfie decided to take his case, Wolfie vs. The Bachelor Tryouts, to the grand jury (aka our friends).  The trial in front of the grand jury went on for the better half of 15 minutes and the final verdict was unanimous… he should go to The Bachelor tryouts.  Wolfie was ultimately satisfied with the verdict and everyone let it settle for a minute until one of the male members of the jury said “Wait do you mean be the one guy with all the girls??? Oh yeah – you totally don’t have a chance.”  This was the curveball that no one was expecting which sparked an entirely new discussion.  Voices raised, muffins were thrown, exes showed up as witnesses, LOUD NOISES!!!! … it got messy.  Wolfie decided not end up going because a) no one would go with him, and b) he didn’t have anything to wear. 

As my apology to Wolfie for being the cause of this missed opportunity, I hereby dedicate this blog post to helping Wolfie find true love and hereby dub him as The Most Eligible Bachelor in Boston.  I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that I wouldn’t do this for just anyone. 

If you’d like an opportunity to date this bachelor, please send your bio with a picture and why you think you would be a good match to  Serious inquiries only, please.

~Meet Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelor ~

yes ladies, he’s single

Age:  27
Occupation:  Investment Analyst
Favorite color:  Green.  I never realized how that sounds when placed immediately after my answer to occupation.  
Hobbies:  I’m mainstream.  I enjoy running, cycling, yoga (really), and going to the gym on a regular basis (3-4 times per week).  When in season, (like as a weekend trip) I enjoy snowboarding, hiking, scuba diving, or traveling somewhere.  Say, Newport RI to see the mansions, or the Boston Harbor Islands, or Gloucester.  I like to do things. 
Perfect date that he would take you on: Check this out.  A perfect date would go in this order.  Of course, this “perfect date” could end after any of these activities and be a solid day, but a home run would be meeting someone with whom I enjoyed myself enough to want to continue (and vice versa, obvi).  It would go like this.  Saturday morning.  Meet for coffee.  Intro’s and get to know.  Volunteer somewhere through the morning.  Head out to lunch.  Go for a short hike, walk, or (insert local activity here).  Take a timeout for down time.  Yup.  Go out for drinks and dinner on the town.  Not Denny’s, and not Top of the Hub.  Closer to the latter.  Maybe Maggianos Italian Restaurant, or the Beehive Club in the South End.  Perhaps most importantly, this dinner would roll into a night activity.  I would want the date to choose from a few select options, which would include;  Staying at said restaurant for live music of any kind.  Michael Buble concert.  Hitting the Havanna Club (or taking Salsa lessons).  Jamie Cullum concert.  Karaoke.  Going to my place for a move.  I like movies, I hate TV.  
Ideal woman:  
 Traits she should have…
(1) Personality.  Please have one.  Of course we will find out if our personalities are compatible.  But, be someone!  
(2) Intelligence.  Have an opinion on life.  Be ready to debate it.
(3) Beauty.  Yes, on the inside, too.  At least I’m honest.  🙂
(4) Traditional Values.  I’ll know it when I see it.  Also, if she is an INTJ or INFJ on the Myers Briggs Personality Test, have her reach out.  I’m an ENFP and we are supposedly a good match.  I typically pair up well with someone who is a planner, forward-thinking, organized, and independent.  
Describe yourself in one sentence:  An “ENFP” or “Champion / motivator” type, who is quick to excitement and boredom.  In a word, Tigger.
There it is!! I look forward to your submissions!
Wolfie – don’t you worry, I got your back on this 😉


24 Feb


We all know nothing is official until it’s “Facebook Official” (learned that from my high schoolers)… so consider this me ‘making it official’ 🙂

For those of you that want the short version: I’ve been in Boston for nearly four years and I’m looking for a change of pace.  I’ll be leaving July 5th (made sure I’d be here for the 4th!!) and transferring to my firm’s office in San Diego.  YAY LIFE!  You can stop reading now 🙂

For those of you that want the extended version:

Life in Malibu with my scooter buddies 🙂

Post college (’08) I had a summer position at a church near Malibu and was having the time of my life. I loved the kids I worked with, loved the families, loved the lifestyle… it was perfect. A little too perfect.  I’m a person that is afraid of getting too comfortable with life, I very rarely take the easy way out (intentionally and unintentionally), I pride myself in working hard and taking ownership of what I do, but more than anything I firmly believe that God calls us to a life of adventure in His name.  Can I get an amen?!  I’ll blog on this topic later… lots to say.

Anyways – the adventure for me was buying a one way ticket to Boston to figure out life, just me and my Maker.  I came armed to battle with an air mattress, two duffel bags, two undergraduate degrees from a small private school in Abilene, Texas that no one has ever heard of (sorry ACU, but it’s true), and a huge goofy grin on my face.  The country happened to be in the middle of the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression…  oh and my degrees were in finance and accounting… nbd.  There’s no getting around it – the odds were against me.

Four years later… it’s safe to say I am extremely blessed.  For anyone that has met me for > 5 minutes (or reads my blog), it quite literally is a miracle that I’m alive.

As far as the reasoning behind the move… earlier last summer I was led to believe that I’d be moving to start a new life in Pearl Harbor, HI for some reason….  hmmmm… weird.  That said, my heart was already in preparation to say goodbyes and move forward onto the next chapter.  Things quite obviously changed and I felt trapped.   

Everyone I talked to advised not to make any big life decisions in the state of mind I was in…. even haircuts!  But more importantly my closest friends told me to stay put and don’t do the one-way ticket thing again.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking up tickets to London, San Diego, Rwanda, Dallas, Beijing, Portland, Bangalore etc etc etc.  I guess staying put was a good call – thanks friends 🙂 

The more I had time to process, the more I realized that San Diego was still on my mind for a number of reasons:

1. I grew up there 

2. My best friend, Keri, and her family are still there (aka – my second family)

 3. My brother lives there

5. I have yet to meet Noah Hales and he’s going to be TWO this summer!!! (Brady and Laura – this is your warning: I will be visiting!)

6. I literally spend all my extra cash and vacation time being in weddings… I absolutely love it, but dream of the day I can take an actual vacation.

7. I’d be closer to all the friends I call family… well the same coast at least

8. California called, they want me back.

A True Texas Thanksgiving… In Pictures

27 Nov

To set the record straight, I am not a Texan.  I grew up on the west coast — my extended family has always lived somewhere in Texas so I guess you could say there are some roots there, but it’s not what I would ever really call home.  I decided to go to college in Abilene, TX and loved every minute of it, but it has provided some confusion among my friends as to where I’m from – I’ll say it again, I’m not from Texas.  Even though I don’t claim Texas as my own, I love my goofy Texas family and will absolutely claim them a hundred times over.  They tend to be about as far from “politically correct” as possible, so please extend the benefit of the doubt that they are the sweetest people you will ever meet that just happen to say some goofy things… bless their hearts.  

So under the assumption that a picture will say a thousand words, I feel like it might be a better way to share about my Thanksgiving in Abilene, TX and the hilarity that is my family rather than try and write it all out – but don’t worry, there are some moments that a picture could never capture and I’ll include those too.  ENJOY! 

Birds eye view of campus flying into Abilene... it's a happening place, can't you tell!?

After getting settled we went to Aunt Trisha's and this was the scene... DJ, Kyle, Uncle Ray, Grady and Uncle Jimmy - bellies out watching football. LOVE THEM

Denver, the eldest grandson who lives in Arkansas with his family called Uncle Jimmy on Facetime to say hello to the fam.  We Texans are always so impressed with technology these days, we passed the phone around and each said yelled hello to Denver’s face and then he put his precious 4-year old daughter on Facetime.  Norah fits in the family well because she is never at a loss for words; she started talking away to Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Ray and white-haired Uncle Jimmy leans over to deaf Uncle Ray and says “what’d she say??” as if Norah couldn’t see them.  Uncle Ray responds “I have no idea” but they continue to smile and make goofy grandpa faces into the phone.  Uncle Ray leans in with his ‘good ear’ to try to hear her better… simulating the use of a normal telephone while poor Norah gets a view of her Pa-Paw’s ear.  I look over, feel sympathy for the poor little girl staring at her grandpa’s ear and remind Uncle Ray – “it’s called Facetime, not ear time!”  Kyle then grabs the remote control to Uncle Ray’s hearing aids (yes – his hearing aids have a remote control) and tries to turn up the volume.  Only my family. 

Granny's house was decorated for fall to max. This decor pretty much sums up our weekend.

Our very southern Thanksgiving meal 🙂 "If you go home hungry, it's your own fault"

Grady sat at the end of the table and I talked him into taking a group picture... now... Grady is not known for his enthusiams towards traditional family things... family pictures included. So when we heard him yell "Mom!! Get in here!! Group photo!!" we all died laughing... captured here. In case you can't see my face in this.. let's go ahead and zoom in, shall we?

Here ya go. This got passed around the table. Everyone was in tears and I now have a new nickname in my family that I will not repeat, because it happens to be extremely NON-pc... this was the topic of our entire Thanksgiving dinner conversation.

Here is a snapshot of my (first) plate. Incredible. In case you can't tell... we have smoked turkey AND ham... also, I have no problem loading up - the turkey wasn't the only thing that was stuffed! As food was passed we did what I like to call the 'baseball yell' which mimics how the vendors at the baseball stadium call out their food... "Sarah, will you pass the cranberry salad" my baseball vendor response: "CRANBERRY SALAD!!" At one point during the meal, Grady surveyed the table and yelled "Squash casserole takes the lead!!!" He was totally right.

No family gathering is complete without a friendly (read: ferocious) game of Scrabble, so after everything was cleaned up and put away, we decided to start a game.

Now don't let this sweet 80 year-old Granny face holding her Scrabble apron with her grandkids' names on it fool you... she gets a little sassy when we start beating her 😉

sometimes she lets me cheat...

... but typically this is the sassy face we get from her during our Scrabble games

Everything was pretty normal in our Scrabble game... until I discovered this play. Take a look at that sassy Granny face and now imagine it with her eyes bulging from her head and smoke coming from her ears. My Granny is an extremely sweet, traditional, conservative Christian little old lady and we all try to be extremely respectful of her. But as I looked at my letters, "PENIS" was just glaring at me and I couldn't see anything else. What to do. If I play this, will I be removed from the will??

I decide to consult my opponent via text from across the table. He looks up from his phone... stares me straight in the eyes and says "A THOUSAND DOLLARS. ONE. THOUSAND. DOLLARS"

Needless to say... I played it. I won (duh!) and Granny's response was: Well it IS a word. Win, win and win.

 Let’s take a break from pictures for a minute and read some noteworthy comments/conversations from the weekend:
Grady: Mom – does dad’s voicemail really say “Hi!  This is Jim, Jimmy or James Kimbrell…”
Me: *sneeze*
Uncle Ray responding to my sneeze: PAPAYA
Aunt Lea: Oh! Jimmy has a papya tree!!
DJ: Get a space helmet and make it Boba Fett The Bargain Hunter
Granny: We need to lock up that unicorn
Aunt Lea (on Black Friday shopping): Jimmy you’ll be so proud of how much I didn’t spend today
Aunt Trisha: Well HE’S the one that goes to get light bulbs and comes out with a refrigerator!
Grady: I mean… I’ll learn taxidermy
Grady:  Bacon tastes good with everything.  Name one item of food that doesn’t taste good with bacon.
Me: Cake.  Bacon and cake… gross
Kyle: Actually, I just had a cupcake with bacon the other day and it was incredible
…………10 minutes of this conversation…… we all offer up something, Grady denies us (lasagna, cereal, ice-cream, etc etc etc)
Me (out of silence): GRAPE POPSICLES!!!!! Bacon would NOT be good in a Kool-Aid Grape popsicle!!
Grady: I think that’d be fantastic – you just replace the popsicle stick with some crispy bacon!
So the day after Thanksgiving we continued our family time:

Naturally the day after Thanksgiving calls for the day-after-Thanksgiving-sweater, seen above being worn by Aunt Lea

True to any family gathering in Texas, Grady and I look out the window and see Kyle and DJ shooting soda cans in a field from the back porch. Grady and I had a laugh after watching DJ miss a few times and he said "Sarah I bet you could hit that soda can before DJ does."

Challenge accepted. I NAILED it on my first try 😉

I was so surprised I busted out laughing... making for this primo photo op. Thanks Deej.

If you know anything about Texas you know that if one gun is shown, more will follow. This was no exception. Uncle Jimmy appeared from the master bedroom door with his gun.

Which then led to Grady pulling out his 40. IT. WAS. LOUD. I got to shoot all the guns, but the fun ended after I shot THIS gun... something about waving it around after the shock of the kickback causing everyone to duck and cover just didn't go over too well with the guys... whoops.

What Texas-day-after-Thanksgiving would be complete without stripping the house of the fall decorations and putting up the Christmas decor... isn't she adorable??

Have I mentioned that my Granny collects apples? They're eeeevvveeerrryyyywhere. She has a tree with all our names on it. She's had this for a number of years and it's become a staple to her kitchen decor. Do you see an apple on there that looks a little small porportionate to the others?

Let's get a little closer and see who's that is...

...aaaaaand it's Grady's. baaaahahahaha SUCKA!!! I make sure and point it out to him... he's not having it!! He puts Granny on the chopping block and we come to find out that his apple was lost - this was the best replacement she could find. Grady wasn't having it. He recruited me to go on a trip to Hobby Lobby to create a new apple for him that would outshine all the others...


Can you tell he was a little bitter??

Let's not forget puzzle time

... or the obligitory game of Hearts...

and what family gathering is complete without finding some old family photos… “Awwww Sarah… the 6th grandson” – Grady
I hope you enjoyed a peek into our family and a true Texas Thanksgiving, and I hope you were able to share it with your friends and family 🙂
Y’all come back now, ya hear??