Genuis Idea: Fake [student] ID

12 Jan

Notable “Sarah” moments from the week include:

  • The hem of my pants getting caught on a door and the string reaching lengths of 5+ feet before I noticed it trailing behind me as I walked down the hall at work.  Someone literally hopped over it before anyone told me.
  • Talking with a coworker while drinking water from a straw and spewing on said coworker (this was immediately after the pants incident, mind you). 

    RIP favorite umbrella - I will miss sporting you with my plaid jacket

  • Closing my umbrella and all the metal innards (?) snappingin half.  Is that normal?? This of course gave the guy standing next to me a great conversation starter as I pouted and put my favorite umbrella in the trashcan 😦
  • Accidentally touching an intern’s butt in a crowded elevator while trying to put my hand in my coat pocket – he was mortified, poor thing… I just stared straight ahead and avoided eye contact.  Needless to say, I have not been asked to be a recruiter for the firm.  Weird.
  • An old man in the sandwich line at Viga struck up a conversation with me insisting that they put the “lunch specials” sign out there juuuuust for me.  He continued this conversation the entire time I was in line… my teeth dried out from the extensive smile/nod motion I had to do. 

And it’s only Thursday. 

Let’s talk about my age, shall we?  I’m 25.  If you ask anyone on the street how old I look, you will average 17-20… .don’t worry, we have field research that supports this statistic.   Not only is a bit of a blow to the ego, but looking like you’re under 21 becomes extremely inconvenient/embarrassing for a number of reasons. 

I remember I was two weeks away from graduating from my university, walking through the campus center and an enormous group of high schoolers on a tour walked by.  One of the admissions counselors came up to me after the group went into the cafeteria, put her hand on my lower back and said “The group is going to lunch, why don’t you go ahead and make your way over there.”  Embarrassing.

After graduating from college, people would find out I had just graduated and say “Oh that’s so great!  Where are you going to school?”  No no… graduated FROM college.  Embarrassing.

I get carded at Rated R movies.  Every time.  Literally.  Embarrassing.

When I was 23 I decided to take an extended weekend trip down to Orlando for a much needed vacation after tax season.  I was 23 and was assigned to the exit row of the plane.  The guy at the gate, who was roughly my age, in ‘kindergarten speak’ asked how old I was.  NATURALLY I thought he was so enamored by my beauty that he was hitting on me… nope… he was complying with FDA regulations ensuring that all persons seated in the exit row were older than age 15.  I went to the airport bar and ordered a beer just for the sake of maintaining my sanity.

Boston is super strict about fake id’s and out of state id’s are a huge target.  [Thank YOU Texas for having next to no holograms on your ID’s]  I have had to pull out multiple forms of identification (INCLUDING MY PASSPORT) just to get into restaurants after 8p.  Embarrassing.

There are however benefits to looking young – STUDENT DISCOUNTS!  I get them allllllllll the time, whether offered or requested and there are few things that bring me more joy than this… I’m cheap, remember??  So for this reason, I carry around my ACU student ID with my picture from 7 years ago to get discounts. 

Did you know you can get the matinée price at a movie theater with a student id??  10% off at Banana Republic?? (not the outlet though)  Discounted gym memberships?? Lunch specials at pretty much every place in the city??  Museums??? Shows??  Yeah seriously, it’s a great deal.

In high school the big thing is having a fake ID to buy booze, and kids will spend hundreds of dollars to get a decent one… real cool (sarcasm).  How much do you think working professionals would pay to get a fake college id for these deals!?  I think there’s a huge market here!!!  I wouldn’t even have to mess with holograms!!  And if you look old… well, then you can just be a grad student 🙂 I’m going to put together a business plan and have you guys review it for me.

With that, I leave you with the little gem that cost (and continues to cost) me thousands and thousands of dollars, but for the past seven years has saved me hundreds 🙂 my student id:

Now THAT is a face that is going to get some discounts!

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One Response to “Genuis Idea: Fake [student] ID”

  1. Jen January 13, 2012 at 3:16 pm #

    Hahahaha! I still get carded everywhere too…represent!

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