My love for the Muppets… and Officer Hen(der)son

21 Nov

I love the Muppets.  A lot.  I am SO EXCITED to see the new Muppet movie this week (!!!!), and go to The Muppet Movie sing-a-long at the Brattle Theater in Harvard Square on December 8th (in case you’re wondering, yes.. that’s your invite).  What a great time to be a Muppet fan!!! As far as embarrassing Muppet moments go though (yes, there are more than one), none can compare to the time I left a Muppet cd in my car.  Let me give you the back story here..

Freshman year of college, three of my best friends and I would have extensive debates about which Muppet movie was the best… Beth loves The Muppet Movie, Terence – The Muppets Take Manhattan and Trav-0 was The Great Muppet Caper… all great movies, but Muppets Take Manhattan is definitely the best (duh!)  This resulted in many-a-Saturday watching these movies to prove who was right (we went to school in Abliene, Texas… give us a break). 

All through college, Beth and I were the dynamic duo — she was Kermit and I was Fozzie.  Check us out… do you see the resemblance!? (a simple ‘yes’ will suffice)

Crazy... right?!?!

Do you LOVE us?!?!

The summer after freshman year I lived with my parents in an up and coming/slightly ritzy suburb of Dallas, TX and worked between 60-80 hour weeks at Bed Bath and Beyond and Office Depot to try and make cash before I studied abroad.  It was the longest/worst summer ever – the redeeming factor for having to live in Dallas was that Beth lived about half an hour away and we got to hangout and be bff .

One day I had an absolutely horrendous day and Beth decided to cheer me up by dropping off a present for me at work; in her artistic creativity, she had burned me a Muppets cd, complete with a Muppets cover and the song list!!!! It was incredible – all our favorite songs/moments from the Muppets on one cd!!!!  I could have died after listening to it and felt like I had lived a full life.  Needless to say, my Muppets cd stayed in the stereo of my 1985 hand-me-down Chevy S10 pickup truck, aka Rosa, the ENTIRE summer.

1985 hand-me-down Chevy S10 pickup truck?  Rosa?  Oh yes – this is what I drove freshman year of college (borrowed from a Google image search, but pretty dang close to the real thing):


Believe it or not, I loved Rosa… the feelings however were not mutual.  She once decided to drop off her muffler off on I-30 as she maxed out at her whoppin 55 mph in a 75 mph zone; the lovely woman driving behind me in her Lexus was not a huge fan judging by the finger she chose to extend as she swerved to miss said muffler.  Rosa once threw her review mirror at me for taking a speed bump a little too fast… aka 7 mph.  There was one time when she had a life/death situation where she decided to die for a few minutes at a stoplight, on an EXTREMELY busy six-lane road… but don’t worry – a cop rear ended us into a convenience store parking lot and she was revived.  It was an abusive relationship to say the least, but I stuck by her side… even in the Dallas suburb my parents lived in where every 16-year-old that passes their drivers test gets a brand new something-fancier-than-I-will-ever drive.  I swear, that summer the police department quite literally knew Rosa and I by name because we were the only pair on the road valued at $800 (on a good day). 

Let’s tie all these stories together, shall we??  After working 18 hours straight, on my feet between both my jobs… I was exhausted.  It was 11p and I had finished closing out my register at BBB and my manager let me leave early.  When I walked out to greet Rosa, I noticed the driver’s side door was slightly ajar… was this just Rosa being a jerk again, or did I forget to shut the door?  As I got closer, I noticed everything that had been in my car (aka… Scategories board game and a Tupperware that had had the PB&J I ate for lunch) had been strewn across the seats.  That’s odd.  I opened the door and saw her stereo had been ripped out and stolen, dropping her value to $770.

As any girl in a dark parking lot who just found out her car was broken into would do, I cried.  Feared for my life… and cried.  Was this thief waiting for me?  Could they see me?  Am I next?!  More tears.  My manager came out from the store and saw what happened and immediately called the police; this was big news for the FPD… Officer Henderson responded to the call immediately.

Officer Hen(der)son…. *siiiiiiiiiiigh* Pretty sure to this day he is the most beautiful human being that has existed on planet earth.  When he got out of the cop car, he came to me with great sympathy and even put his arm around me (woop woop!!)  Life wasn’t SO bad anymore…. still couldn’t stop crying though.  He gave me a hug and told me that he was on duty every night at this time and would personally escort me out of work to my car if I needed him to (yes please).  All this was helping, but I still couldn’t. stop. crying.

Officer Hen(der)son looked at me and said “ok, I know you’re pretty shaken up… and I understand the stereo isn’t what you’re upset about…” (don’t worry – I repeatedly emphasized how I wasn’t crying so hard over the stereo because THAT’S embarrassing.  I was crying because I felt violated… lol… because that’s much less embarrassing??) “…but I do have to file a police report.  Sometimes what happens here is the thieves sell the stereo to a pawn shop and forget to take the cd out of the cd player, so we are able to identify the stereo.  Now, did you have a cd in there we could keep an eye out for??”

Of course.  Forget my ‘cool Seattle underground music’ phase that I was still living in… there’s no way one of THOSE cd’s could have been in my stereo.  Or even a crappy pop/top 40 band.  Nope.  The Muppets. 

I immediately stopped crying.  I was silent and just stared at him… because that’s not weird.  I thought maybe if I pretended that I had disappeared, that I would actually disappear and relieve myself from having to answer this question posed by my potential husband.  He stared at me and asked again “I’m sorry… did you have a cd in there?”  I managed to mutter under my breath “The Muppets” as I lowered my gaze to the ground.

“I’m sorry… what did you say??”  I had to repeat myself… “The Muppets.”  I said, this time so he could hear me.  He kind of scrunched his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side and asked “Did you just say The Muppets??”  My hands fluttered up to my face to try and cool the redness that was happening as I began to blush; I responded “Yeah… you know… Kermit, Fozzie, Miss Piggy…”  and then I died laughing.  I’m pretty sure he was relieved that I started laughing because he immediately goes “Well THAT should be easy to find!”  Needless to say, I did not in fact call Officer Hen(der)son to escort me to my car and he did not ask for my number.  Figures 😉

If you’re up for celebrating the goodness that is Jim Henson – let me know!  Hopefully we can refrain from any life threatening embarrassing moments this go-around 🙂


3 Responses to “My love for the Muppets… and Officer Hen(der)son”

  1. bethanned November 21, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

    oooh I remember this, such a sad occasion!! haha I LOVE the pictures of us next to kermie and fozzie aww we need to be ‘together again’ dah dah daaa *chiing (symbol noise)

  2. Bernardine November 28, 2011 at 9:02 pm #

    I caught “The Muppets” last night and I *loved* it! Amy Adams and Jason Segel did such an amazing job! Then there was the muppets! It made me so happy seeing them all together again. Me and my parents laughed heartily through the whole movie! I just wish there was more Beaker. 🙂


  1. Aunt Jemima hosts The Lord’s Supper « highfiverson - December 12, 2011

    […] at fault when we hang out and things like this happen.  JJ and I rode the T home together after The Muppet Movie sing-a-long (which. was. AWESOME btw!!!!! I loooooove the Brattle Theater forever for having that!!)  The […]

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