Creature(s?) of the Night

7 Nov

This morning my Metro News guy changed his typical “I love your dimples – let me see those dimples” routine into a marriage proposal.  Which was then followed by… “Naaaah you’re probably already married.  Are you married??”  Nope.  “You’re single???”  Run awayyyyy!!!!!

Now accepting applications for fake boyfriends.  My only requirement is to meet me in front of the Copley T stop at least once a week, and maybe throw in a Starbucks every now and again, OBO.  All inquiries will be considered.

But let’s talk about the moocher that’s been coming to our apt this past week.   The Mouse.

This city is known for having mice problems, but in the three years I’ve lived here, and five (5) apartments I’ve lived in… I have yet to see one in any of my living spaces. This may come as a shock to some people, but I’d go ahead and call it normal.  Mice are NOT normal.

I’ve been sleeping on the couch for the past two weeks because I’m sick – and when I’m’ sick I sleep on the couch (it’s weird, ask me in person.. not worth taking up blog space).  Every night I’ve woken up and seen a shadow go across the living room floor along the baseboards.  In my sleepy stupor, I figured it was a shadow produced by the headlights of cars driving by and would go back to sleep.  Until Thursday.

Last Thursday, I accidentally fell asleep with the light and the tv on, so around 2:30a I woke up to turn them off.  When I sat up, there across the room stood a little gray mouse… frozen in terror, staring at me.  At the first lift of a finger, the mouse scurried behind the radiator.  AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  I texted both of my roommates I JUST SAW A MOUSE IN THE LIVING ROOM!!!! WHAT DO I DO!?!??!?!  (all caps because I was trying not to scream… and that’s how you scream in a text, right?  It was the next best outlet).  I gave myself a minute and then thought… alright, you overreacted just a little bit, but it’s ok.  He saw you, you’re bigger than him, he’s freaked out, he’s gone.  I got up turned the TV off.  Light off.  Head to pillow.

It could not have been more than thirty seconds later and that little intruder CAME BACK.  Ballsy if you ask me.  It ran across the living room floor along the baseboards — aka the “shadow” I had been seeing for the past week.  Oh HAAAAIL no.  I screamed  aloud this time, and did the tiptoe dance on the sofa.  2a.  nbd.

Every day Mal and I are more and more thankful that we have a male roommate and this night was no exception.  I bolted to his room and repeatedly tapped on his door while opening it and in a panicked whisper-voice said “Jeff, are you awake????”  Before he could answer, I had already jumped in his bed and gotten under the covers… poor guy can’t even get a good night’s sleep with us girls!  In an effort to console me, he decided to share all these mice horror stories, how this is totally normal, and how there’s probably a whole family living in our walls.  Thanks male roommate.  This does not console me; I didn’t fall asleep until after 5a and had to be at my desk at 7a Friday morning.  Great day.

Now onto our new project: catching our moocher.  I’ve always been terrified of bugs, but even moreso of killing bugs; if I kill it, all its friends are going to find out and attack me while I’m in the shower.  Call me irrational, but I attribute this fear to the Goosebumps book by R.L. Stine I read in third grade Go Eat Worms where the kid is attacked by millions of worms in the shower… what can I say, I have a vivid imagination.  Ever since reading that book, if I saw a bug or spider in the house I would cover it with a coffee mug and leave it for my dad to kill when he came home from work.  Note: coffee mugs are heavy enough to make it nearly impossible for the bug to move and/or escape…  although if the size/strength of the bug was ever in question I would just go ahead and put a textbook on top of the coffee mug for safe measure.  You may think I’m being ridiculous, but then I’d just say – you’ve never lived in West Texas… those cockroaches are not a joke! (I just had to itch my head after writing that.  GROSS).

So what do I do with this mouse?!?!?  If bugs are going to creep into my shower and attack me, I don’t even want to know the capabilities this mouse has with its army of friends/family.  Will they have weapons?? Plus, I don’t think I’m fast enough to catch this thing in a coffee mug.. and if I did, I wouldn’t even know what to do with it!!  Saturday morning I did the right thing and got a couple of mousetraps and a sticky-glue-mousetrap-box (official name).

I put together the sticky-glue-mousetrap-box no problem… but had to recruit Mal to help me set the traps.  For the record: directions to setting a mousetrap should not include technical names when said mousetrap consists of three working parts.  I’m sorry, but “Bow,” “Bait Pedal” and “Locking Bar” ?!?!  Better names would have been Snapper, Skinny Stick and Stick With Holes.  We had to go so far as to make bets with ourselves to encourage productivity!  So after a solid half hour of trying to interpret these instructions and working up an extreme amount frustration (don’t worry – we are still making fun of ourselves for this), Mal produced what looked to be a set trap… and I now owe her a drink.

If you think setting the trap was an ordeal, testing it was almost just as much of one.  We started by recognizing that this tiny little trap could in fact cause a lot of physical and emotional harm to us.  We then looked for an object in which to test our trap-setting-skills.  I took the straw out of Mal’s drink and handed it to her.  Mal then proceeded to put her body as far away from the trap as humanly possible and lightly poke at the trap with her straw; she was poking the sides of the wood block… not even remotely close to the Snapper.  We continued to make fun of us, and I decided to give it a try.  I used the straw to tap the “Bait Pedal,” or at least what we believe to be the “Bait Pedal” (the probability I’m using the right term is 33.3%) and nothing.  I got closer and tapped harder.  I started tapping the Skinny Stick and even the Stick With Holes!! I started pounding our straw across the entire thing and NOTHING!  This definitely proved to be more complicated than my coffee mug traps.  Finally in a fit of frustration and rapidly pounding/hitting/tapping all over the entire trap with the straw, the thing set off.

our supplies

We decided we may not have figured out how to appropriately set the trap but never fear, Mego stopped by later and taught us (we were so close!!).  We now have three traps out and ready for the little guy.

Game on moocher – you just try and scamper across my living room floor again.  Oh… and tell your friends.

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2 Responses to “Creature(s?) of the Night”

  1. Jason November 7, 2011 at 9:18 pm #

    I feel bad for the mouse. I would probably jump on the couch and scream if I saw one in my living room. I’ve had a rat run across my foot before, that scarred me for life.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. I have a love/hate relationship with myself « highfiverson - January 5, 2012

    […] Love: roommates! / Hate: additional and unwanted “roommates” … aka The Mouse […]

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