I pooped by Ed’s office.

26 Sep

Friday was the kind of day that only I could have.

Occasionally our office will have a “jeans day” on Fridays the admin will send a big email blast to announce it… other than that, business casual (ie: no jeans) and just a little on the stuffy side – don’t get me wrong… I don’t mind being professional, but I LIVE for jeans days… seriously who doesn’t love jeans days?!?! We got an email on Wednesday about a breast cancer research fund our firm is supporting and we are having a “jeans day” in honor of it.  I woke up Friday, put on a pair of jeans, went to work and soon realized I was a week early because well… I was the only one in jeans.  Oh breast cancer awareness is next week?  Don’t worry about it.  Oh hi big important partner that I work with and see once every 6 months… jeans??  it’s a thing the finance team is doing today-how’s the fam???

I wish that was the worst of it… but alas, it was only 8a.  Awkward continued as I sent an instant message to a senior manager with an extremely unfortunate typo.  Rather than try and describe it, I’ll just show you:

Sarah /… i just pooped by ed’s office  
◄he said “be patient” 11:22:55 AM
◄*POPPED 11:23:04 AM
Sam … haha 11:23:10 AM
◄I liked the first one better 11:23:16 AM

I told him that I pooped by Ed’s office.  Pooped.  Sam happens to be hilarious and didn’t let it go… he sent it around the office and I was receiving IM’s from people saying things like:

Drew… trying to steam him out, interesting tactic 11:28:29 AM

Matt… I pop in there every now and then 11:41:09 AM
◄*poop 11:41:24 AM
◄haha 11:41:27 AM
Sarah… you’re kidding, right??? Sam told you too?? 11:41:33 AM

Of course I had a performance review scheduled with my boss lady that afternoon.  Trying to feel as professional as I can in a pair of jeans, defeated from my poop typo.. I walk in, shut the door and the first thing she says to me is: “everyone has told me that something hilarious happened today involving you… but no one would tell me what it is… what’s the deal???”  What better way to start my review…. so I tell her.  She starts laughing so hard she’s crying… and then wheezing… the woman can’t breathe (the poo typo is even more funny if you know the people involved… which she does).  Should I start CPR?  No.  That’s awkward.

She decided to make me feel better by telling me about other infamous office typos:  emailing a manager telling him it’d be a fart rip (instead of far trip), addressing an email to Boob (instead of Bob… with every global partner cc’d), and our director of finance sending an email to an admin saying “you cock!” (instead of ‘you rock!’) – We got to laughing so hard, I had to excuse myself and said “I’m so sorry – I need to take a walk” because I couldn’t control the tears… and she excused herself to get a drink of water, catch her breath, and stop the cough-wheeze.  Great start to my performance review… something about maintaining a professional image?  I don’t know.. I was too focused sucking the Cheeto powder-blanket off my fingers.

The awkward was capped later that afternoon when my work stalker asked if he could set me up on a blind date.  Nope. 

Does anyone recall my badminton work story by chance?  I’m honestly not sure how I’m still employed.  Words cannot express how glad I was to leave the office that day – this in turn made for an excellent Friday night at a ridiculously amazing karaoke dive bar followed by a fort in my living room.  Let’s see if I can make it through this week 😉

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3 Responses to “I pooped by Ed’s office.”

  1. Kemi September 29, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

    POOPED! OMG, that’s hilarious! I hope you live it down soonish…lol! 🙂
    K

  2. Larry March 26, 2013 at 1:13 am #

    I sometimes wonder if I shouldn’t go on a far trip before I let a fart rip. (Say that fast five times over!) But seriously, Laughter is the world’s best medicine! Thank you Sarah for a hilarious post! That review probably was the high point of the week for your boss.

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  1. Life Lessons in Office Etiquette « highfiverson - December 22, 2011

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