harry potter meets 2Pac

15 Jul

In light of the past 24 hours of Facebook posts… let’s talk about harry potter.  I get it.  Ok that was a lie… I totally don’t get it; I can’t even capitalize the name!!  I’m honestly surprised I even wrote it out.  Sorry world.  Ok that was another lie… I’m not sorry.  Man.. hp is one of those things that brings out the worst in me.

I’ve told the story of WHY I’m not a fan at least 74896165463548 times, but for those 4 of you that haven’t heard… here it is:  (wait one second while I make sure I’m not FB friends with this guy..)

We’re clear.  So the books/movies started coming out while I was in junior high and everyone seemed to be reading them.  I mean, I wasn’t anti or anything.. just didn’t get the hype.  As my friends became more and more wrapped up the stories, I just became more and more “behind” and cared less and less.  Fast forward to the summer after I graduated high school.   Book four was released.

Meanwhile in the life of Sarah, there was a guy I knew that was starting his senior year at ACU while I was going to be an incoming freshman.  He was super cute, older, really funny and had done cute little things for me throughout that summer to express his interest.  He was driving from the Tri Cities to Abilene, I only had one box to my name and I figured… what better way to start college than a cute guy and a ROADTRIP!?!!?  Right?!?!?!? Wrong.

Above is a map of our route… 32 car hours and literally halfway across the U.S.  I love being in the car.  I love roadtrips (especially with Beth).  I love jamming out (specifically to playlists made by Terence).  I love America.  I don’t love books on tape.  If you recall, hp book four had just come out and this guy was a huge fan.  So much so, that he inserted disc 1 of a 17 disc set of hp book four ON TAPE.  Why don’t you go ahead and check out that map again.  Why don’t you go ahead and shoot me.

I’ll just say in those 29 car hours of listening to hp book four… yes… 29 hours, I’ve done my time.  I am not required to like hp or even try to understand the hype.  Let’s add a few other factors into the ride:

  • He wouldn’t let me drive.  Do you know how awkward it is to sit in the passenger seat of a car for 32 hours and not be “allowed” to drive??
  • He wouldn’t have a conversation.  Here I am on my way to college and soooo excited, asking questions like.. so is college fun?  What are the dorms like? Are the classes hard?  How do I make my class schedule?  only to be shut off by my first and only question with a pause of the cd, a heavy sigh, a roll of the eyes and a “eh.  I don’t know.. it’s alright.”  thanks, hp guy.  resume play.

We get three hours outside of Abilene and I will never forget this moment… the book ended!!!  We are in the middle of the desert and the book is OVER.  Praise the Lord!  hp guy looks over at me from the driver’s seat and says “So is there anything you want to listen to???” 

I wanted to scream.  I wanted to grab the steering wheel and crash his car.  I wanted to open the door, tuck and roll and hitchhike the rest of the way with my one box.  Nevermind, I don’t even want that one box.  Instead, I said (out loud this time) “yeah.. I have a cd I like” and popped in my ‘Sarah CD’.  This cd has super cheesy songs with synthesizer beats and inserts your name into the lyrics telling you how awesome you are.  It’s intended for putting little kids to bed as the songs progressively get slower and slower as the cd goes on, but hp guy wouldn’t know that.

We listened to the first song and then the 20 second filler (“Sarah? you ARE the coolest.  You’re a very special girl… in fact!  There’s no one quite like you!  that why these songs were made juuuuuuuuust for you!”), when hp guy looks at me and dead serious says: “Wow.  You’re really self-centered.”  After 29 hours of enduring hp, you’re going to look at me and say I’m self centered for my 2 minute JOKE?!

I’m not even going to tell you the thoughts that were running through my head at that point for fear that my blog will be flagged on some ‘explicit’ list… so you can just put yourself in my shoes and create your own explicits.  After a deep breath in, I manage to say in the tiniest voice ever.. “i was just kidding…”

Lucky for me, hp guy also loved 2Pac so we spent the last 2:57:32 hours of the ride listening to his “greatest” “hits” (double quotes inserted to convey extreme sarcasm). 

I will say… there is one thing hp related that I have enjoyed, and I will leave you with this:


3 Responses to “harry potter meets 2Pac”

  1. Kyle Kimbrell July 19, 2011 at 2:46 am #

    I had not heard this story and it is amazing!! I give it a big Arsenio Hall helicopter fist pump!


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